Is this where your life has become?

[Explaining the personal significance of a song]

I remember hearing this song...at my neighbors house...on the radio.

[On bar tricks]
...part of the coyote bugly shit-bar course.

[Trying to say something is "awesome"]

Yeah, that would be office.

Our perception of days will die with our deaths at the very least.

[On anger]
I fuck hate...

I've got swamp soup in my ball-ass

So...what are you going to be...um...uh...how was your day?

[On waitresses]
Yeah, cause they're totally not already having boyfriends already.

[Telling a female friend to calm down]

Whoa...chill your...dick...out...Steven...