I haven't sent any messages out since April. Then I respond to a couple message and that's's about it

That's basically what it comes off to as me!

If you stuck that to your face, it would never come off. Your skin would asborve it.

I would totally buy that game, if it got was well reviews

He wanted a bit of the old cog

Light has a heat to it.

Yeah, but you need someone with over 200 experiyears.

[On a funny joke]

Everyone was crapping up hysterically.

It's a hilarious joke no one will eveler get!

[On celery in beef stew]

Oh, I like it. It becomes like a solid block of beef fat... and... stew... taste.

That's ok, I shouldn't be eating that many popcorns anyways.

Ive always thoughted I want more pizza

[Confronted with a challenge]

What? Right now? I couldn't possible.

Still not a great well formed sentence.

I gotta imagine that can't great for them

You could just go buy a Mac hardware

Its weird how your knees don't exist when you stand up.

This is a judgement free zone. No one's gay in this room.

Yeah, its like a 5 minute walk, and if I still go-ed there, it'd be awesome!

...on a regular batious.

You can't end a sentence with a proposition.

Dillon: You're a self starter

Andy: And a stelf finisher!

Dillon: In 5 minutes I'm heading out to the mall

Andy: Yeah that's probably easy... enough

[In an email to a customer trying to get them to renew their Software Maintenance contract]

If you're interested in renewing your maintenance for the free maintenance...

It makes my mouth make weird faces!

That guy's got brass balls of steel!

[On sauces]

You show me a thirst question pasta!

[On pills]

You hold on them, that way my mom won't can find out

[On Cigarettes]

That's what happened the last time I ate Lucky Strikes

[On Roommates]

You don't hog up the mirror when you're sharing a razor!

[On Books]

I need those for eating on my own accord!

Dude, this is the sadnest...

Things that I thought were difficult to do are not as... as I thought they were

Maybe that where I seen it, or something similar...

He always seemed like a really guy!

I wonder how many more times expensive those are...

You've researched goats! They can be made into cheese!

[Regarding the flavors in a piece of garlic bread including tomato and basil]

Well...I taste tomaiso...

Bye! See you When...day...

My eyes don't need to work to make my hands!

[Giving a eulogy]

Dillon died what he loved...

I killed four dudes but they're still alive

Like when he had that affair with his wife.

[During my first shift as a bus boy]

Coworker: Its your first day, but you're doing such a good job that you look like you've been working here a while now.

Andy: Well, that's because I don't shower often.

Make sure you leave to the exit

That doesn't even make physics

I often wash food on the stove!

How cool kills can you make?

Dude, have you ever had a beard to the face?

I have no idea how high that up is.