Is this where your life has become?

[Explaining the personal significance of a song]

I remember hearing this song...at my neighbors house...on the radio.

[On bar tricks]
...part of the coyote bugly shit-bar course.

[Trying to say something is "awesome"]

Yeah, that would be office.

Our perception of days will die with our deaths at the very least.

[On anger]
I fuck hate...

I've got swamp soup in my ball-ass

So...what are you going to be...um...uh...how was your day?

[On waitresses]
Yeah, cause they're totally not already having boyfriends already.

[Telling a female friend to calm down]

Whoa...chill your...dick...out...Steven...

...wait to see what you'll get for your evalwation first.

It's like when the back of your neck is long, but it's not time to get a hair cut.

[On personal management]
...and then complain that I don't have enough time about it!

[Threatening]
I will stap your neg.

[On the Economy]

Do you know how that would affect the total cost of money for this economy?

[Walking up the stairs in my office with my hands in my pocket. A cute girl is coming down the stairs ahead of me. I trip on basically nothing and, as my hands are in my pockets, I fall flat on my face]

Cute Girl: Oh my god, are you ok?!

Andy: Hah, oh yeah, I'm fine. I guess I just need to practice... walking... up stairs

[Excerpts from my attempt to read a game description to Dillon]

...lots of new rambient sounds like mosquitoes buzzing, dogs barting...

...new special skills and abiligies...

...mods for the 10 milli pister...

[To cute girl getting out of her car next to me in the parking lot]

Andy: I guess I... need to pay more attention when I'm standing in my car, huh? ::nervous laugh::

[Cute girl looks confused for a moment and then walks away]

HaHA! Pizza is formed by air!

You know, when you try to talk normally...through your nose...

Why don't you enjoy the voices I make? Especially the ones only I can hear.

[On Guitars]
You can’t string it to have a wider neck.

[Attempting to explain white pepper]
Its just as milder as black pepper.

[On those ice dispensers that some refrigerators have]
You’ve got to ice the floor every once in a while to keep it dry

[On hearing techno music playing from the closed restaurant across the street]
Is that a gay house club? [pause] That’s not how I meant’ed it…

[On PDA at restaurants]
If I have to see that one more time I’m gonna puke my pants!

[After Dillon hit his knee against a coffee table while playing Rock Band against me]
Ha! You’re injured! Now I can finally take my place at the top of the pile!

[Trying to order two of the #2 Value Meals at the McDonalds Drive Thru]
Automated Drive Thru Message: Hi, would you like to try one of our new Angus burgers today?
Andy: Hi can I have 2 two’s…2 two’s small…two number two’s small…a number two small and a number two small…two small two’s…two two’s…
Actual Drive Thru Attendant: Hi, can I help you?
Andy: Oh thank god.

[To a customer at Staples after being told that we stocked a product I had said we didn’t]
Ah, I should have knew’ed we has that!

It was about time

Looks like its time to finally get this blog up and running!